When you’re little, it’s easy to think your parents have all the answers. But as you grow older and struggle to find the right words to help your children understand complex situations, you realize your parents likely felt the same way when they were in your shoes.
With the midterm elections approaching, that uncertainty can feel even more pronounced as our children turn to us with questions. Regardless of age, our children are increasingly exposed to difficult topics involving politics, voting, social issues and conflict.
Our instinct may be to shield our children, but the truth is that complex issues will inevitably touch their lives. We can help our children better understand what’s happening around them by being proactive and engaging in thoughtful, age-appropriate conversations.
The question is: How do you do this? Through my work as a science teacher at Virginia Virtual Academy (VAVA) and serving on Rocky Mount’s Town Council, I’ve supported students and their families, and my community here, through difficult situations and helped them develop strategies for having productive conversations, processing feelings and practicing empathy.
Parents, like me, can use these same strategies when talking with their children about elections and other topics in the news. The goal is to create an open dialogue where they feel comfortable asking questions — and at times, disagreeing with you.
Create space for conversation.
These conversations matter. If your child asks a question when you’re distracted or busy, it’s okay to tell them you’ll talk about it later. You want to create a comfortable environment where you can focus and minimize distractions.
Think about what you want to say.
Take time to gather your thoughts and consider the best way to present the topic to your child based on their age and maturity. Ground your conversations in values — respect, fairness, community or liberty — and demonstrate how these values shape your political thinking and the way you vote. You can share which issues are most important to you and explain how different candidates plan to address those issues.
At VAVA, we take a similar approach by introducing younger students to voting through the concept of good citizenship. Strider the Fox, the K12-powered online school mascot, makes the concept approachable by explaining how children can demonstrate good citizenship: being kind to other people, following rules in class and listening to their parents. He then explains that adults demonstrate good citizenship by caring about their community, working with others to solve problems, understanding what’s happening in the world and voting.
Model respect and civility.
Avoid name-calling and stereotyping when discussing different opinions. Respectful civic engagement starts at home.
Encourage discernment around the media.
The 24-hour news cycle, TikTok, YouTube and podcasts can inundate us with one-sided perspectives. Teach your children how to think critically about what they hear.
In U.S. Government and Politics at VAVA, students complete a lesson on critical thinking about news and misinformation and learn the importance of reading articles closely to check for biased language and credible sources.
You can expand on these lessons by talking to your child about how to determine who is delivering the message, what voices are not represented, whether stereotypes or fear are used and what the source wants you to believe. Together, research the topic and teach your child how to separate facts from opinions, recognize sensationalized language and evaluate different perspectives.
Listen.
Ask them what they think and then listen. To deepen the conversation, you can incorporate open-ended questions that help them articulate what qualities they believe make a great leader, what issues they think are important to your community and what they would do if they were in charge.
You won’t always have answers, and sometimes, you must be willing to say, “I don’t know.” But your child doesn’t need all the answers — they need a place to have healthy conversations that build critical thinking, empathy, respect and discernment. When the time comes for our children to register to vote and for some, run for office, they’ll be equipped with a strong foundation to make decisions grounded in their values.
Benjamin Mullins was elected to Rocky Mount Town Council in November 2022. Council member Mullins is a lifelong resident of Rocky Mount. He and his wife Jessie have two boys, Jeremiah and Dawson. Mullins has been teaching science for 11 years and began teaching at Virginia Virtual Academy in September 2022.
